My star, my comet, my little piece of heaven.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Between over a million stars, there was that little star, a little comet, which was so weak at first, i could hardly see it due to the light of the other stars, which were brighter than it, stronger than it. Then, i chose it as my favorite star, and i promised to make it so strong and bright like the other stars. And even brighter, even stronger. I wanted to give my little star a story to tell to others when they'd see it, so they'd be inspired from it, and create their stories, their reality, their fantasy. So, every night i used to sit in my balcony or on the roof, and i was telling stories of my own life, mistakes i made, chances i lost, but also fairytales, own stories with happy endings, whispering a sad or a happy song just for company, and making wishes at it, until the dawn, or even sleep on the roof hearing it singing me lullabies for sweet dreams, or it took care of me while i was sleeping so nothing would bother me, and doing his best to shine so bright so the only reason i would wake up to be his light, to show me that it made it, that it found the strenght to shine on his own.
Every time my mother found me on the roof sleeping, she was always saying "damn it kid, you're driving me crazy! get down NOW!" and i was always replying " mom, stop yelling, i was just keeping company to my comet. i'm alive, nothing happened to me, because of it." She didn't know what else it was left to say. She was just afraid of the bad things that happen, and she didn't want me to get hurt. But i was always telling her "mom, i'm gonna prove it to you, that someday i'm gonna make that little star a real comet, and it would shine so bright, and everyone will sit and watch it fall from the sky, searching something new, searching new stories that i can't tell it anymore, stories that will give it the same strenght i gave it to shine so bright every night, if you just let me keep it company. If you want, you can come with me sometime." Every time these words were coming out, she was always crying, because she was living her own dream in a way somehow. She was watching her little girl dreaming and hoping for a miracle, and she was wishing not to get my heart broken.
I remember i kept talking to that little star so many years, and every night was a little brighter that the previous one, and i knew i would make it 'till the end, i knew i could make that star a real comet, that could fly all over the world and tell my stories to somebody else, and he would take another stories with it. I never stopped loving it. It was the only star which could make me happy, which could take me to heaven and bring me back to earth without breaking me, without breaking my heart in to pieces because of the bad things that were always happening. It was my everything, and i was really afraid of losing it, but in the end i always knew that that was my plan. Not to lose it, but to make it fly, to make it travel, to give it strenght to shine like i was shining when i was watching it.
It brought meaning to my life, it made my life so beautiful, i was actually believing i found a little piece of heaven on this destroyed world. It made me understand some things i couldn't even imagine, or things i didn't wanna realize.. I found love because of it, i found real love from it, i found everything i wished for.. But it never stopped being the only thing i'd love so much at the end of the day, the only thing that kept me dreaming of life, the only thing i grew up with. It taught me so many things, like how to rely on somebody, like how to make my voice perfect when i sing, like how to keep dreaming when a dream of mine was collapsing, like how to breathe when somebody was trying to take my breath away with a kiss and other kinds of stuff.
It told me, that one day i'm gonna find the one, the one who's going to replace it, because it will remain without strenght and brightness, and that i wouldn't be able to make it strong and bright with my stories and my lullabies anymore. I knew it was right, but nothing could ever replace it. It was, and it still is the thing i love the most on this world. An even if it's not here, i know that wherever it is, it is shining so bright that it gives me hope. And i know that one day it will come back, and it will make me, or my children, or my grand children smile like i did, with it's stories, with it's brightness, and when it'll be gone again, it will be the best day of their life. But until then, my best day of my life was when i found that one it was telling me about, that one i was going to love for my entire life. I know it will come back someday, and i'll find again my heaven, my little buddy, my beautiful comet, my brightest star, and i'll be happy again! I know it. And it will find me with you sweety. It will find me in your arms, and it'll be watching you to take my breath away, and it'll expect to see if i'm going to follow his advice it once told me. That way, you're going to shine too, more like my little comet, because you'll become my comet then.